This blog is probably more for me than anyone else because it’s 12 something in the morning and I’m just not ready to give in to the slow steady spiraling of time that has declared this new day’s conquest to begin 22 minutes ago…
I should probably go conquer a pillow so I can dream about weird magical things and then go adult like I mean it for Friday… I don’t like adulting, which is why I spend my free time playing music and writing short stories, like this one. Also, my dreams are meant for songs and poems, not some lazy segway between work and play.
Oh, I was just informed that this is actually not a short story project nor a true act of free-writing, which by the way is rather glorious. The concept (for the chosen few who haven’t heard of it until now) is to just let your hands make words and numbers and shapes and things until you feel like you are in a state where your mind is directly communicating what you want it to.
The challenge is to avoid editing and to toss grammar to the wind, (see my triple “and” threat above and watch the English majors cry) even spelling isn’t a necessity in this form of writing because you’re meant to see the raw beauty of just letting things happen and getting out of the space of needing to control everything all the time at every stop along the way. The thing that always slows me down is my desire to go back and look at the literary vomit that has flooded my screen because I tend to lose myself in the coils of my own Kundalini thought viper.
I consider my mind to be like an Ouroboros of sorts due to the way my left and right brain rub against each other. It’s like they are constantly eating each others’ tail! In other news, Friction Lightning is a really nice feeling but it does fade rather intensely so it’s best to be in a state of “ok this might hurt a little” when it happens.
I have no idea what that was supposed to mean but I like it so it stays. I’m just trying to keep from giving myself a migraine, and actually write something that has a definitive purpose without taking a ton of back pedals to make sure I was doing it right two minutes ago. My ability to metaphorically ramble about nothing and feel a sense of accomplishment after having done so has actually made its way into a few of our songs and I still feel pretty good about those parts even years later.
I would like to point out that despite doing this blog and writing a song or twenty in half free written form; (there is usually a good bit of editing that happens later anyhow) I have managed to resist the urge to just type the letter o thirty times like it would help me get over a scratch in the record.
…that’s what the breaking points seem like to me anyways, you’ll probably find your own way to describe them.
Back to the topic of music, I’m not really a fan of just throwing ooh or ahh into a line for effect. I probably just haven’t gotten the right feels for them yet because when other singers do them, I usually like it but in my music I feel like I’m taking the easy way out. Silly isn’t it?
That is, however one of the best parts of free writing to me… just jamming down on a key or a ton of keys for the sake of keeping the train rolling but also while sliding through a tunnel of unconscious blabber through the peaks and valleys of intelligent expression. Maybe the purpose of singing a song is to find a way to feel like you’re always singing it for the fist time. You know exactly what you’re going to say and it feels oh so true and right. Yeah, it’s pure and full of zeal. When I write something that’s like that for me I’ll definitely blog about it. (^_^!!)
I’m catching myself looking back at the previous paragraph and now at the clock (it’s 12:44 for anyone who cares to know how slow I type even in a just go make it happen kind of environment) and this switch between narrating my thoughts in my head as they hit the page and then reading them (even… no, especially! In silence) is really not doing me any justice. I’m kind of flipping up and down like a toaster on strike against a hungry teenager. The scales will find balance when all of the excess is culled. At least now I feel inspired for my nightly excursion into alternate universes because the energy that was keeping me up has slowly grind it’s way to a halt and I feel fine.
I hope someone else gives even a slightly mundane form of free writing a try for 30 minutes as I just did and is willing to share their experience. That’s what this band is about: finding what heals you because this world is full of beauty and pain, and sometimes we just need to pick something that isn’t poison for a little while.
Many blessings to you all,
Changes came sweetly on a
Under a Florida sky
Warm sands and low tide
Echoes of sunshine smiles